We have had our Janie with us for 6 months now!
Lately I have been dwelling on my life and where I am now. I was watching Janie and Madeline playing in the pool this past weekend and was mesmerized by them just being here, in my backyard, calling me Mommy. I can't explain how I got here. All I know is that God decided to change me for the better due to Jeff's passing. Something like throwing all hopes to the wind and jumping on for the ride. I became fearless for the future due to having faced one of my worst fears. I grasped that life was not to be feared but embraced, that God's plan would happen whether I liked it or not. I could embrace and accept, or fight. I decided not to fight.
Fast forward years later and God started haunting me with thoughts of the little girl we were sponsoring. I would wake up at 3 a.m., start crying for no reason for her. I remember many nights getting up and praying and wondering if I was losing my sanity. Now it makes me cry knowing what God was up to all those nights. He decided we were to be Li Qing Zhong's parents and thankfully we accepted. Her way to our family will always be unbelievable to me, one because I'm old and two because Hank and I had never talked seriously about going back to China. I cannot express in words my thankfulness for God's plan for his precious Janie Qing Qing and for our family.
Years ago when I stopped worrying for my future I had no idea of God's wonderful blessings for my family, nor the wild ride we would take. These past six months have been wonderful, horrible, gratifying, draining, crazy, full of laughter and tears, exhausting, rejuvenating, frightening, joyful, the list goes on with many contradictions. This is exactly what God promises us. He uses the hard to make us stronger in Him. He also uses the complete joy of watching your child flourish to touch your soul in ways we can never could have imagined.
Happy six months our precious Janie!! We are so very thankful for you and love you as big as the sky and tomatoes!!