I just read an Ann Voskamp devotional...
"The cross you carry - is carrying you toward who you are meant to be"
goodness that speaks light into my soul
I believe that statement with all I am.
I live that life with many crosses as we all do...
I have carried many crosses
I grew up in a dysfunctional family due to divorce
those waves reach far
leaving etches in my heart
my first husband died from brain cancer
those waves reach far as well
leaving my heart tenderly sore
raising special needs kids
those waves too rock me to the core
yet I know God is in every single minute detail
He never once promised us perfect
it is in the many imperfections of this world that He makes me who I am
I spoke these words to as precious trusted friend yesterday
"I wish I was better at this, that I could do it well"
referring to my ability to raise Madeline well
I mess up every single day
I want to do and fix and be
~well I can't~
it is that simple
I can only look to my heavenly father to hold and shape me as I carry
these pictures hang on my bulletin board in my office
lately every time I look at this pic of Madeline I get teary
holding on to great hope for my girl
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary.